The transition to college, a rite of passage for many, represents the final shedding of the vestiges of childhood. Teary parents deposit their progeny in an alien environment teeming with ice cream socials and deluges of information sessions. These teenagers, equipped with their smartphones and freshly minted student IDs, must navigate a novel social atmosphere and learn to coexist with a campus full of similarly displaced individuals.
I, personally, dreaded abandoning my old lifestyle. Despite my anticipation of joining what I perceived as a diverse and vibrant community of intellectuals, some aspects of this change disagreed with me. Maybe it was my aversion of communal showers. Maybe it was my unprecedented distance from my parents. Maybe it was my fear of academic inundation.
Maybe it was my Crohn’s disease.
Continue reading Crohn-sitioning by Siya Chauhan ’20
I have received your most recent correspon- dence and I regret to inform you that I am unable to attend your formal gathering— which you have so delicately titled “Getting Hammered”—at your domicile, located so conveniently within the veritable confines of Amherst College campus. I’m afraid, dear friend, I am somewhere far far away, at the House of Tyler. Continue reading Letters from Tyler by Logan Seymour ’19E
so gather up the dust
that dwells below bed,
the real stuff of dreams; Continue reading Day-breaks by René Kooiker ’18
He howled against the stupidity of paper walls.
Letters never swelled with lips or chest,
Like a mind wholly mind, perching
Its gooey wings; but still its shit
Hit hard ground, hardly a ground
That was mine to understand,
Although inhuman, always of the world.
Continue reading I found ideas of madness at your door by René Kooiker ’18
In this star-spangled, god fearing country the orange-clad are granted a final meal before they’re offed. Continue reading Cherry Pie by Gabby Edzie ’17
As I grow older, I appreciate villainy more and more. I appreciate it not only because superheroes bore me (Superman=Jesus), but because doing good is its own reward. The motivation for doing bad things is fundamentally more interesting. Continue reading The Jerry Springer Show (Review by Mapate Diop ’16)
They told me to Celebrate William Shakespeare’s birthday by eating dessert before dinner! I’m confused. What could Shakespeare possibly have to do with breaking the dinnertime rules that my poor hardworking mother drilled into my head? I can hardly begin to consider how Ma would feel—they’re already telling me to Come for the food and stay for the discussion! Continue reading Nausea by Siraj Sindhu ’17
Though I’d like to say I’m creative when it comes to where I jog, this isn’t the case. Wherever I run, I stick to a few favorite paths. I have three in my hometown, one at my grandparents’ in Philadelphia, and four in Amherst. Known to most runners are the Norwottuck Rail Trail, the Emily Dickinson Trail, and the UMass Loop. These are routes one, two, and three for me. Number four on my list—and number one in my heart—is Main Street.
Continue reading A Jog Down Main Street by Flavia Martinez ’18
“Feminism is cancer. Thank you very much.” With those words, Milo Yiannopoulos sat back down in his chair, not thirty seconds after walking to the podium and beginning the talk. Continue reading The Sickening by Sam Wohlforth ’17