if i could say everything 

        all 

           at once 

                i would.

                          to be truthful

                  i need to say

             my body is floating

 

for fear of disintegration,

     decompensating

i breathe deeply

       i think in moments

even though 

        they are fleeting

flashes have 

        soft, violent duration. 

 

can pain make

time detect

-ible?

       i doubt

                       to be truthful

                i need to say

          my body is floating

 

for fear of drowning in my

     lungs  

          fluid

    today new york surged

    to over 52,000 cases

  siphon life from

 bodies, you can’t hold

a number in 

   your floating hand.

 

this moment has sprung

         our breath into our hearts

and our collective

body has flung itself into the air

 

and we haven’t hit the apex

   preparation has passed

but we are still steeling our breath

                as though it isn’t vulnerable.

 

my hair is suspended 

       in the air around me

but my hair is the world around me.

  

wheeze, the pain, dadum, 

     will crash into the floor.

 

my floor is my aunt

      on the phone, my uncle

muscles and breath.

dying, living, dying, 

                               living

my cousins, my other aunt

  each pain a new pain

 

when i am living in flashes

life flashes before

       my heart.

 

if i could say everything 

        all 

           at once 

                i would.